Sunday, August 16, 2009

A Leap of Faith




The dictionary defines superstition as a belief or notion, not based on reason or knowledge, in or of the ominous significance of a particular thing, circumstance, occurrence, proceeding, or the like.

As much as I would like to think, and even to a certain extent deny, a part of me is really that, a tad bit superstitious.

I have been troubling and agonizing over a decision these past few weeks, and I went to an intuitive reader to find out if what I was planning to do would be beneficial for my career. The cards said yes. Still, I had dilly-dallied about making the actual move for another few days. Mainly due to doubts on whether I can do it.

But lo and behold, I got this text message early this morning, I knew I saved the message and have actually read it over and over again, but I can’t seem to find it now. The message is my horoscope talking about me, that I “should take the leap of faith…” that I shouldn’t be afraid of change, for it will be for the better.

Creepy, for this is exactly the fear and conflict that has been piercing and twisting my head over this decision.

Yes, indeed, this will be a leap of faith.

God knows that I have the faith, I just hope to find the strength to leap.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Nais Kong Malaman Niya


Ang susunod na kuwento ay kathang isip lamang ngunit may konting halaw mula sa tunay na buhay...

======================

"Kailangan ko na umuwi eh."

Kumunot ang aking noo at tinignan ka na waring kinakabisa ang hubog ng iyong mukha. Para hindi ko makalimutan.

Ayoko pang umalis ka. Isa ito sa mga kakaunting panahon na nagkaroon ka ng oras para magkita tayo. Gusto ko sana, kung maaari ay tumigil ang oras para sa ating dalawa.

"Sandali na lang, pwede ba?"

Hindi na sana ako magsasalita pero hindi ko napigilan ang sarili ko. Sanay ka na rin naman sa mga pakiusap ko na madalas dumadaan sa iyo nang hindi napagbibigyan. Pero iba ngayon. Nararamdaman ko. Dumating ka, hindi ba? Kahit ala-una na ng umaga, dumating ka pa rin at tayo’y naupo sa bangketa sa harapan ng aming bahay.

Tahimik ang buong paligid, wala na ngang dumadaang sasakyan sa kalsada at tayo'y nagbubulungan sa takot na makagising ng mga taong nahihimbing na o di kaya'y makabulabog ang aso ng kapitbahay.

Pinagpatuloy ko ang pagtingin sa 'yo. Nakita ko sa iyong mga mata ang paghati ng iyong damdamin kung tatagal ka pa sandali upang makipagtitigan sa akin o uuwi na upang matigil na ang pag-aalala ng iyong ermats.

Kilalang-kilala na kita, alam ko na lagi ang ikikilos mo, ang iyong sasabihin, at ang takbo ng isip mo.

Mahal kita.

Ilang panahon na din kitang minamahal na hindi mo namamalayan. Pero kahit gaano katagal pa kitang patuloy na mahalin, hindi mo ito mapapansin.

"Aalis na nga 'ko, dinala ko lang naman yung flash drive mo na may porno."

Napangiti na lamang ako at sabay nilunok ang matinding pagnanasang yakapin ka ng mahigpit at sabihin sayo ang nararamdaman ko. Wala namang saysay kung aking sasabihin kasi hindi mo naman pwedeng suklian ang pagmamahal ko.

"Sira ulo.. Ingat ka."

Tumawa ka at saka niyakap ako. Pumasok ka na sa iyong kotse at pagka-andar ng makina, binaba mo ang salamin ng bintana at kumaway.

"Sige, bespren. Goodnight!"

Hinintay ko hanggang sa makaliko ang iyong sasakyan sa kanto. Napabuntong-hininga na lang ako at sabay pumasok sa loob.

ang love story ko na hindi...

Sunday, April 05, 2009

Inspector Gadget / The Net

I finally got my new laptop, also last Thursday. Woohoo!!! Kaya siguro hindi rin masyado masama loob ko sa pagkaka-wala ng phone ko, kasi may bago na akong "toy". Hahaha. It's an HP Compaq 6530b with a built in webcam and microphone. How cool is that, huh?

I never thought that I would miss going online sa mga Social and Networking sites like Multiply. But I did. It's been a month or so since I read my Multiply inbox, my Friendster, and my Facebook. Mainly because all of these networking sites were screened by our office firewall and I only get to access them pag nauwi ako ng Cavite (which I haven't done for almost a month).

With my new toy, I hope to be online more often. Hahaha. Free wi-fi zones, here I come!!!!

Losing My Phone



Last Thursday night, I lost my phone via an exceptionally talented pickpocket. I say exceptionally talented because I never felt a thing. Haha

I was going home to the apartment in Cainta from a rehearsal in Pfizer. I put the phone in my pocket and rode the bus from Makati to EDSA Crossing. Ayun, somewhere between going down from the bus and riding the FX to Cainta, nawala yung phone.

The funny thing was, I didn't panic. Parang, wala lang. My friend, Emon, told me na baka kaya ganun, there were so many bad memories attached to that number kaya I didn't feel a sense of loss.

Anyhoo, I was able to retain my number through SMART's number portability. I lost all of the contact numbers in my phonebook, though. SIGH! I also lost all of the photos I was supposed to post in my Project 365 album. Double SIGH! I know I saved a copy of those somewhere. Hindi ko pa makita. Haaaaaaaayyyyy!!!!

So, to all my friends who have my number, text me, so that I can put you on my list again. Introduce yourself, please. Hehehe

Monday, March 16, 2009

The Art of Letting Go 2



Today, I am in a state of deja vu. I started deleting messages from my phone again. Once more trying to make room for new memories.

I had saved every single message he had sent me. From the simple "haha", to the lengthy exchanges we had over the air.

I laugh and smile as I read each one before I finally delete them from the memory forever.

Treasured moments erased...The art of letting go...

But you cannot completely erase them, can you?

The sad fact is, it's easy to erase the reason for the smiles and laughter from the phone's memory. But it's more difficult to erase them from my own.

Saturday, March 07, 2009

White As Snow



A friend of mine sent this to me two weeks ago. Ngayon ko lang nabasa.

Natawa ako, promise. Naisip ko, papasukin kaya ako dito? May screening process ba ito? Kasi kung purity ang criteria para sa participants, then I am SURE that it will be a VERY short list of attendees. Wahehehe.


===========================

UNASHAMED: THE TRUE LOVE WAITS (TLW)

2009 NATIONAL PURITY CONFERENCE on February 21, 2009 (Saturday) at 9:00am to 5:00pm at Mega Tent, Ortigas Center , Pasig City (map of venue attached to this email).


TLW PHILIPPINES is an organization and movement that seeks to guide single men and women to make a commitment to sexual abstinence until marriage. The TLW 2009 NATIONAL PURITY CONFERENCE specifically aims to help and equip leaders live a life of purity as they impact others (poster of the conference attached to this email). There will be plenary sessions, break-out workshops, music and fun. Get real answers about Love & Lust, Purity, Pornography, Homosexuality & HIV/AIDS.

The conference fee is PhP 200.00 if you pay on or before January 31, 2009 and PhP 300.00 thereafter until February 21, 2009. Tickets are available at the TLW PHILIPPINES Office (map of office attached to this email). For details you can call ******* or text 0917-*******

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

The (Ear)Ring

I was in a meeting with my new boss last week, along with a few Department Heads from our Company. Somehow, the discussion veered towards how I used to wear a silver earring on my left ear. My boss was somewhat surprised because I guess it didn't match her perceived personality of me.


She turned to me and said, "Naku, Eric. Huwag mo na isusuot ulit yun ha. Kasi alam mo naman...."


I answered, "Ma'am, wala na po yung phase na yun. Ingat din ako sa image ng Department natin kasi nga we are perceived as the 'bad guys' in the organization..."


She countered, "No, no no. That's not what I meant. Kasi, I am trying to dispel this notion and perception that we are 'all female' in the department..." (background, there are only 5 men in our department, two of them are openly gay)


I almost choked on the iced tea that I was drinking. Ang nasabi ko lang was, "Oh..."


Kasi, little did she know that there was a third... hahaha...


Friday, February 06, 2009

25 Random Things About Me

1.) I was born on November 30, 1972, 3am, at the Marian General Hospital (now a part of Manila Doctors). I was a Martial Law baby. My dad recounts that on the night that my mom was rushed to the hospital, policemen stopped the car on account of the curfew. When they saw that my mom was giving having labor pains, they immediately escorted our vehicle all the way to the hospital. O, di ba? Maski sa pagpapaanak sa akin ay diva na ang dating. Hahaha


2.) I have two younger brothers and a younger sister. We were all brought into this world by one OB-Gyne, Dra. Gozos, and checked-up by one Pediatrician, Dr. Faylona.


3.) My parents were supposed to name me “Andrew” or “Andrei” because I was born on St Andrew's feast day (Andres Bonifacio Day in the Philippines). But someone gave my Mom a book of names and she liked the meaning of Eric (“King”) and Michael (“who is like God”). And so, my name means, God-like King. Cool, right?


4.) My nickname is Boobie. I was born during the Martial Law years. At that time, my aunts and uncle had limited television shows to watch. One show that they particularly liked was a cartoon called Shazzan. He had a flying, talking camel called Kaboobie. They thought he was cute, and they thought I was cute. Kaya, ayun… Sigh!


5.) I am a full-blooded La Sallian. From prep to high school, I studied at De La Salle – Santiago Zobel School (pioneer batch). Then onto De La Salle University for college. I have loyalty awards to prove it. Hahaha


6.) In DLSZ, I purposely lost all of the inter-class academic competitions that I was in because I was frustrated that my parents never came to watch me in any of them. Oh, wait. I won the Bible Showdown kasi hindi kaya ng konsyensya ko na magpatalo doon. Hahaha. Saka yung Oratorical Contest kasi that was my forte. (my winning pieces were Poe’s The Tell-Tale Heart, Carlos Romulo’s I Am A Filipino, and Amador Daguio’s Youth Speaks). Goes well with my love for theater. Hahaha.


7.) I am afraid of spiders. They give me the heebie-jeebies. You can give me frogs, snakes, lizards, cockroaches. But spiders, forget it. Remember that movie, Arachnophobia? Me and my friends watched it. I had my eyes covered during 90% of the film. And the remaining 10%? I was squealing like a little girl. PRETTY embarrassing.


8.) I am a certified choco-holic. Running joke between my gay friends and I is that sasagutin ko yung guy na liligawan ako via gifts of chocolates. Hahaha. And it also follows that I have a terrible sweet tooth. I love cakes, pastries, candies. Hehehe


9.) I sleep with a minimum of three pillows beside me in bed. Gusto ko kasi may kayakap ako sa pagtulog. Syempre, mas maganda kung warm body ang kayakap ko. Wahahaha


10.) I love to perform. In grade school, I was in the school’s productions of The Music Man, Wanted: Muchacho, and Sa Pula, Sa Puti. In high school, I was in the batch plays All My Sons, Florante at Laura, Ibong Adarna, and Noli Me Tangere.


11.) I received my very first failing grade in college. Chemistry. Ugh! Let's not expound.


12.) I fell in love with a female classmate when I was in college. But, it was not meant to be. She was Chinese, I was not. That was the first time that I had my heart broken.


13.) I am a cry-baby. I cry at sad scenes in movies. The worst crying spell that I had at a movie-house was during the film Stepmom (starring Julia Roberts and Susan Sarandon). . I get teary-eyed when reading sad stories.


14.) I have stage fright. Considering that I have been performing with a choir for the last 17 years. Before a performance, I can’t eat. I pace the floor. I sweat.


15.) I have traveled the world because of choral singing. In 1996, we went to 10 countries in Europe, 5 states in the US, and Hong Kong in Asia. In 2007, we went to Scandinavia and countries in the former Eastern Bloc


16.) My ultimate dream would be to perform in musical theater. I totally see myself singing, acting, and dancing on stage. Another would be to do back-up vocals for a major artist in a major concert.


17.) I get embarrassed when I get praises from other people. I feel uncomfortable when I am at the center of attention.


18.) I love dogs. When I was young, my dad would get me and my brother a pair of dogs. Since my brother is averse to them, I end up taking care of both. Oh, and I gave them “pair” names. Donnie and Marie, Starsky and Hutch, Lancelot and Guinevere. Then I had Queenie, Apollo, and Lucky. Now, I have Chippy and Sasha.


19.) I am gay. Bading, bakla, jokla. Call it what you may. I long to have a meaningful relationship with a guy some day.


20.) Indications of being gay manifested itself as early as 5 years old. Wala pa lang akong concept of being gay at that time. I remember watching a film on television where the male lead actor was walking on the beach shirtless. Dun nagsimula ang lahat.


21.) I’ve had two really serious relationships. The first lasted for 2 years. The second lasted for 4 years. The second one almost ended in a Holy Union ceremony at the Order of St Aelred with Fr Richard Mickley as officiator.


22.) My first kiss/sexual experience was with Kevin, a Norwegian. This all happened when I was 26. Late bloomer, huh?


23.) I don't know how to swim. Heehee


24.) I am captivated by sunrises and sunsets. Nothing beats watching them and contemplating on how wonderful creation is.


25.) I LOOOOVE Chinese food. No need to explain further. Hahaha.


Monday, February 02, 2009

The Art of Letting Go

Yesterday, I deleted 468 messages from my phone.


I had saved every single message he had sent me. From the time we met last November until that fateful January day.


I used to read through them every now and then. It triggered memories. It made me smile. Goes well with my being a sentimental fool.


But when things don't turn out the way that you wanted them to, you have to let the memories take flight.


Close the door. Open a window.


Freedom for myself.


Letting go...



Yesterday, I deleted 468 messages from my phone.


I have made space for new memories and new smiles that have started to come in...


Thursday, January 22, 2009

Type 3 (The Achiever) and Type 9 (The Peacemaker)

I saw this personality test from a friend's site (thanks Tobie). I am surprised, though, that two personality traits came out. Does that mean I have a split personality? Hehehe. You be the judge?


===========================


The Achiever (the Three)


Achivers are energetic, optimistic, self-assured, and goal oriented.



How to Get Along with Me



  • Leave me alone when I am doing my work.

  • Give me honest, but not unduly critical or judgmental, feedback.

  • Help me keep my environment harmonious and peaceful.

  • Don't burden me with negative emotions.

  • Tell me you like being around me.

  • Tell me when you're proud of me or my accomplishments.

What I Like About Being a Three



  • being optimistic, friendly, and upbeat

  • providing well for my family

  • being able to recover quickly from setbacks and to charge ahead to the next challenge

  • staying informed, knowing what's going on

  • being competent and able to get things to work efficiently

  • being able to motivate people

What's Hard About Being a Three



  • having to put up with inefficiency and incompetence

  • the fear on not being -- or of not being seen as -- successful

  • comparing myself to people who do things better

  • struggling to hang on to my success

  • putting on facades in order to impress people

  • always being "on." It's exhausting.

Threes as Children Often



  • work hard to receive appreciation for their accomplishments

  • are well liked by other children and by adults

  • are among the most capable and responsible children in their class or school

  • are active in school government and clubs or are quietly busy working on their own projects


The Peacemaker (the Nine)


Peacemakers are receptive, good-natured, and supportive. They seek union with others and the world around them.



How to Get Along with Me



  • If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially don't like expectations or pressure.

  • I like to listen and to be of service, but don't take advatage of this.

  • Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit.

  • Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It's OK to nudge me gently and nonjudgmentally.

  • Ask me questions to help me get clear.

  • Tell me when you like how I look. I'm not averse to flattery.

  • Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings.

  • I like a good discussion but not a confrontation.

  • Let me know you like what I've done or said.

  • Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life.

What I Like About Being a Nine



  • being nonjudgmental and accepting

  • caring for and being concerned about others

  • being able to relax and have a good time

  • knowing that most people enjoy my company; I'm easy to be around

  • my ability to see many different sides of an issue and to be a good mediator and facilitator

  • my heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, and the here and now

  • being able to go with the flow and feel one with the universe

What's Hard About Being a Nine



  • being judged and misunderstood for being placid and/or indecisive

  • being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline

  • being too sensitive to criticism; taking every raised eyebrow and twitch of the mouth personally

  • being confused about what I really want

  • caring too much about what others will think of me

  • not being listened to or taken seriously

Nines as Children Often



  • feel ignored and that their wants, opinions, and feelings are unimportant

  • tune out a lot, especially when others argue

  • are "good" children: deny anger or keep it to themselves

Nines as Parents



  • are supportive, kind, and warm

  • are sometimes overly permissive or nondirective

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Maisusulat ko ang pinakamalungkot na berso ngayong gabi

Pagsasalin ni Virgilio Almario sa "Tonight I Can Write" ni Pablo Neruda































- 09 Piano Solo.mp3 -
Maisusulat ko ang pinakamalungkot na berso ngayong gabi.

Maisusulat ko, halimbawa: "Mabituin ang gabi at nanginginig,
bughaw ang mga tala sa malayo."
Lumiligid sa langit ang simoy-gabi at umaawit.

Maisusulat ko ang pinakamalungkot na berso ngayong gabi.
Minahal ko siya, at minahal din niya ako paminsan-minsan.

Sa mga gabing ganito, ibinilanggo ko siya sa aking mga bisig.
Ulit-ulit ko siyang hinagkan sa lilim ng walang-hanggang langit.

Minahal niya ako, paminsan-minsan ko rin siyang minahal.
Sino ang hindi iibig sa kaniyang malalaki't mga matang tahimik.

Maisusulat ko ang pinakamalungkot na berso ngayong gabi.

Maiisip kasing hindi na siya akin.
Madaramang wala na siya sa akin.

Maririnig ang gabing malawak, at mas lumalawak kung wala siya.
At pumapatak sa kaluluwa ang bersong tila hamog sa pastulan.
Maano kung hindi siya mabantayan ng aking pag-ibig.

Mabituin ang gabi at hindi siya kapiling. Ito na ang lahat.
May umaawit sa malayo. Sa malayo.

Hindi mapanatag ang kaluluwa ko sa pagkawala niya.
Upang waring ilapit siya, hinahanap siya ng aking mata.

Hinahanap siya ng aking puso, at hindi siya kapiling.
Ganito rin ang gabing nagpapusyaw sa ganito ring mga punongkahoy.

Kami, sa tagpong iyon ang nagbago.
Hindi ko na siya mahal, natitiyak ko, ngunit minahal ko siya nang todo.

Hinahanap ng tinig ko ang simoy upang hipuin ang kaniyang pandinig.

Nasa iba. Siya'y nasa iba. tulad noong katalik siya ng aking mga halik.

Ang kaniyang tinig, malinaw na katawan.
Ang kaniyang matang walang-hanggan.

Hindi ko na siya mahal, natitiyak ko, ngunit baka mahal ko siya.
Napakaikli ng pag-ibig, napakahaba ng paglimot.

Dahil sa mga gabing ganito na ibinilanggo ko siya sa aking mga bisig
hindi mapanatag ang kaluluwa ko sa pagkawala niya.

Kahit ito na ang huling pighating ipapataw niya sa akin,
at ito ang huling mga bersong isusulat ko para sa kaniya.

Tonight I Can Write

by Pablo Neruda
















Cinema Paradiso - Love Theme - Enio Morricone

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example, "The night is starry
and the stars are blue and shiver in the distance."

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is starry and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight tries to find her as though to bring her closer.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's. She will be another's. As she was before my kisses.
Her voice, her bright body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Four Seasons of Loneliness

Waking up to a silent house...

A sense of loss...

Passed over for promotion (again)...

Disappointment...

A love that may not be reciprocated...

Emotional roller coaster...

Tears welling up in my eyes...

Sadness...

Dread...

Sorrow...

Despair...

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Unos






Kasabay ng pagbuhos ng ulan ang pagtulo ng luha
Rumaragasa, umaagos, walang patid

Kasabay ng pagkulog ang panaghoy
Malakas, nagmamakaawa, puno ng hinagpis

Kasabay ng pagkidlat ang pagdilim ng paningin
Masakit, mahapdi, hitik sa pait.

Sana ay hindi na tumigil ang pag-bagyo
Para hindi mapansin ang unos ng nararamdaman
Para maikubli ang aking katauhan.

Kailan masisilayan ang pagliwanag ng langit?

Friday, January 09, 2009

Waiting for Godot

I am killing time. I have just been to a meeting and my next appointment is...wala na. What better way to kill time but to write?

So, musta? I have no agenda but to kill time. So I guess I will just let my thoughts ramble and my fingers type. Let's see how it goes....

So what do I want to write about? Let's see. Nothing in particular. Aaaarrrrrggggghhhh, ang hirap kasi maghintay ng oras. Nakakainip. Nakakabagot. Nakakabaog. Err, erase the last word. Hehe

Paghihintay. Haha. Tama, nakakainis ngang maghintay.

Waiting for someone to like you seems like ages. Waiting for a job opportunity to come is income lost. Waiting for the moment of ecstasy is wild imagination. Waiting for the perfect sexual encounter is fiction. Waiting for an acquaintance to be a friend is a process. Waiting for a friend to be a partner is treading on dangerous grounds. Waiting for a friend and partner to be intimate with you is vulnerability. Waiting for a relationship to grow and reciprocate is nurturing (and may involve a lot of pain).

Waiting for a response (to a message, a text, a query) is expectation. Waiting for that response to be favorable is anticipation. Waiting for that response to be unfavorable is defeatist. Waiting for the other to reach out is a possibility. Waiting for the other to love you without conditions is too much.

Waiting for the past to continue into the present is hoping. Waiting for the present to be as good as the past is idealizing. Waiting for a moment to freeze in time is romanticizing.

Waiting for your "shoulds" to be part of reality is dreaming. Waiting for "musts" to characterize your personality and those around you is imposition. Waiting for the other to change according to your standards is subjugation. Waiting for his/her standards to define you is cooptation.

Waiting for the moment to become vulnerable is courage. And wanting to bounce back when things go wrong is strength.

And writing this email and waiting for time to wind up to 6:30pm is------

Killing time? better time? Spent time? Aaahh, just sharing time with you.

Haha...ok, ok, that's not Bach or Exupery, that's just me.

I am done. 2:10pm and logging out....

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Selfless Love, Anyone?

A few months ago, I got a call from Mico who was a friend of mine. Nope, he is no longer in pain. He is no longer anguished over his friendship with a colleague with whom he would have wanted a relationship. The “past perfect” in Mico’s case has just become “simple past”; he has learned to let go and put the best interests of his friend before his own.

I remember him truly disappointed then. Mico wanted to take their friendship to blossom into a relationship, but the other was not prepared to embrace the same. Mico wanted to pursue a meaningful relationship with his friend. But his friend could only offer a meaningful friendship. Mico wanted to be progressive; the other was conservative.

And so they had decided to separate ways; physically at first as his friend stayed behind in Europe to finish his studies and Mico had to go back to the Philippines. And emotionally as Mico could not fathom how this close friendship was suffocating both, while nurturing so much expectations that his friend was afraid or uncertain to meet.

So Mico had to relent to separation. Pain was second skin to him, but his respect, loyalty and friendship prevailed over his personal, selfish intentions. It was not easy, but he wanted his friend to be happy, even if that happiness would mean pursuing a relationship with someone else---and not with him.

Fate had a way of making their friendship stronger. Mico received messages from an anonymous guy. For a while, they exchanged messages, but when it came to a point when the anonymous guy explored possibilities of meeting and having a relationship soon, Mico thought that the anonymous texter might be a good match with his friend. And so Mr. Anonymous exchanged messages with Mico’s friend. They met, liked each other and are now an item together.

Did Mico feel pain? Did he regret having paired them off?

No, said Mico. “I only had the best intentions for my friend. I thought it would be painful, but it was not. It is liberating to be selfless.”

Selfless love, Mico calls it. And he laughs like an innocent child explaining it.

And selfless love, I intially thought, was about loving 'til it hurts. In Mico’s case, selfless love is loving ‘til it makes you smile.

No hurt, no lost love there.

Just peace of mind. And lots of love in return.


Postscript: Mico to this day has not even met his anonymous texter whom his friend is seeing at the moment. But he says they are happy with each other’s company. Mico is happy for both of them.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

The Promise

by Kai

(NOTE: this is such a beautiful song. I hope it touches your heart the way it has touched mine. Enjoy!)


Kai - Promise - Kai

I turn back the hands of time
To see what I've left behind
All the memories within my heart
And deep within my mind
I see all the hardships I've endured
And I'm rest assured
That you'll be there beside me
Like you've always been time and again

And with all that's said and done
You've always been the one
To hold me on those rainy days
When I couldn't see the sun
And when all the clouds disappear
And my skies are clear
I feel your love shining down on me
Without your love
Where would I be?

Chorus1:
You were the one
Who wiped the tears from my eyes
It was your love that gave me life through my darkest times
You were the one
What you've given me I could never repay
All I can give to you is my loving embrace
Cause I live to see the smile upon your face
Day by day

Verse2:
I've promised to go on
Until my race is won
And the knowledge you have given me
I'll give to those I love
And I've learned that if I do succeed
Then I shall receive the promise of a brighter day
You give me hope, you give me faith

Chorus2:
You were the one
Who wiped the tears from my eyes (That's what you've done)
It was your love that gave me life through my darkest times
You were the one
What you've done me I could never repay
So I live my life according to your way
Cause I live to see that smile upon your face
Day, by day

Bridge:
Ooo, your love
It always pulled me through (Oh yeah)
And when I felt all hope was gone
There was always you (Yeah)
Until my dying day in my heart you'll always be
And I'm so thankful for the love you've given me
Now I see (Yeah)

Chorus3:
You were the one
Who wiped the tears from my eyes (You wiped the tears from my eyes)
It was your love that gave me life through my darkest times
You were the one
What you've done for me I could never repay
I won't fail you this I promise you today
Cause I'd die to see the tears come down your face (Oh no)
So I live in you, I will live in your name
The rest of my days

Don't you cry no more...

Oh no, no