Did You Ever?

First Time (Piano) - Winter Sonata


Did you ever love someone,
And know he didn't love you?
Did you ever feel like crying,
And think what good it would do?

Did you ever see him dancing,
When the lights were way down low?
Did you ever say, "God, I love him!"
But just couldn't let him know?

Did you ever wonder where he is at night
Perhaps with someone new?
One moment you are happy,
One moment you are blue.

So if you fall in love, my friend,
You'll find it doesn't pay.
Although it causes broken hearts,
It happens everyday.

You just can't let him see you.
It will never turn out right.
Love is great, it hurts so much.
The price you pay is high
If I were to choose between love and death,
I think I would rather die!

So if you fall in love, my friend,
You'll be hurt, yes, it's true!
You see, my friend, I ought to know.
Because I fell in love with you...

Father Knows Best

Sometimes I wish that me and my Dad could be close.

I don't exactly know what happened between us. I could easily blame his parenting style for that chasm that perpetually exists between us. I could say that he is the cause of my total lack of self confidence. He was hard, his words were harsh and hurtful. He sometimes ruled with an iron hand.

I could remember waking up at 5am on a Sunday morning just to help him sell beef at the local market. I could remember how he would make me and my brother clean our car everyday after he arrives from work during our summer vacation. At a young age, I knew what responsibility was. I learned to be independent. I learned that life isn't a bed of roses. That life is not fair.

But I also remember how he would always have a gift for me on my birthday, no matter what. I remember how he stayed with me at the hospital when I broke my arm. I remember how he would refuse to let me take the public transportation and insist that he bring me to school events. I remember how he would also fetch me after my 9pm class at the DLSU during my last trimester in college.

My dad was the personification of 'tough love'. He had a different way of showing it but he loved us nonetheless.

What exactly happened between us? Maybe I never really made an effort to be close to him.